From the movie, The Godfather
by Mary Maxwell, PhD, LLB
The campaign trail has had an unexpected development. Candidates for US Senate, from both parties, were invited to speak at a church in northern Alabama. The church has huge styro-foam letters spelling JESUS in its lobby. By the way, I find it pleasing in Alabama to hear men, young and old, refer to God in ordinary conversation. I guess I had developed a suspicion of people “using” religion, but I don’t pick up any of that here. Let’s call this the un-jading of Mary.
Inside the church auditorium, hundreds of people were waiting to test our mettle. I think I answered the questions sharply. The emcee was wonderfully strict with keeping us (8 guys, one gal) to the time limit, even unto turning the mike “cold” if one tried to get an extra second in. When I got back to my hotel, there was an enthusiastic message from a radio station, saying I was wanted on the morning show. Yay! (or so I thought).
Hate on Tap
The guy started Maxwell’s segment of the show with throaty noises. He had an indeterminate accent, not a drawl. He was full of venom and vitriol – quite out of the blue (and at 8.20 in the morn!). Let me deliver this as a paraphrase, abridged. I’ll call the man Jock, as in Shock Jock, and call myself Hope, as in Hopeful Senator.
Jock: I went to the debate last night. Why are you wasting everybody’s time as you have no hope of winning?
Hope; You mean you think only the two front-runners [Rep. Mo Brooks and Judge Roy Moore] should be allowed to speak?
Jock: I mean you are wasting our time. You shoudln’t be there.
Hope: Well, ten people came over to me after the meeting to thank me for speaking up about vaccinations and autism. They said they had seen the movie “Vaxxed.”
Jock: You’re running around Alabama, living in hotels.
Hope: For one night yes, because the meeting finished too late for me to get a Greyhound back to Tuscaloosa.
Jock: Don’t you own a car?
Hope: Not yet.
Jock: Can you drive? [Do we seem to have got away from the vax subject?]
The Rand Paul Caucus
Hope: I can drive, but I don’t relish being on the big Interstates where I might be sandwiched in between two trailer trucks.
Jock: If that is too stressful for you, how could you handle the senate job? What could you do in the senate?
Hope: I would multiply Rand Paul, so instead of Rand being one against 99 colleagues it would be the two of us against only 98.
Jock [not asking “What is it that you and Rand agree on?”] Oh, so the Rand Paul Caucus of One would increase. [All of this in a contemptuous voice]
Later in the day, I told a local about “Jock” and she said “Oh, he’s a hate jock.” Note: in Oz I hadn’t listened to radio in years (Editor Dee listens enough for everybody.) I am amazed to learn that there is “hate on tap.” This guy, Jock, surely did not care personally about the horribleness of Candidate Maxwell. If he’d been given the opposite instructions — to “build me up” — all would have gone sweet.
A Stroll Down Conspiracy Lane
But then came the part in which he was (apparently) instructed to trip me up and reveal me as a conspiracy theorist! Can he, or his boss, be so thick as to not know that I have been dying for this opportunity?
After the commercial break, Jock started the “destroy Mary” questions:
Jock: You say autism is caused by vaccination but it is a fact that it is not.
Hope: How would you know? Have you done any research on this? I’ve researched it for over a year.
Jock: The doctors who claimed it later apologized.
Hope: No. There were 12 of them. One [Wakefield] lost his license to practise. The other older man, Walker-Smith git his license reinstated. The ten young men were intimidated and decided to capitulate to The Lancet’s removal of the article.
Jock: What about Obama? Was he born in US or Kenya?
Hope: I assume he was born in US or Canada. His mom was enrolled in a school in Canada at the time.
Jock: Then you’re a birther!
Hope: Sort of. [I didn’t have a chance to say that Candidate Barack, in 2008, spent millions of dollars squelching lawsuits about his ineligibility for the Top Job, rather than hand over the all-illuminating birth certificate.]
Jock: Do you think Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK? [He really said that! In this day and age! Phenomenal!]
Jock: Oh, so there were multiple shooters then?
Hope: Yes, multiple shooters. A congressional committee around 1992 determined that it was “probably a conspiracy.”
Jock: Princess Diana, was it the paparazzi?
Hope: I have no knowledge of that one.
Jock: You say no one died at Sandy Hook.
Hope: No, no, I don’t say that. Everybody else says it but I say those children did die.
Jock: You say no-one died at the Holocaust?
Hope; No, I don’t say that.
[At this point any heretofore uneducated listeners were getting an earful!]
Jock: You say 9-11 was a false flag.
Hope: Yes, defo. [OK, I actually said “definitely,” did not want to push the Oz connection, and by the way he apparently hasn’t got “Lindt Café” in his quiver, or the Assachusetts affair either.]
Hurricane Katrina, 2005
Jock: You’re a conspiracy theorist so you think FEMA blew the levees in New Orleans.
Hope: Yes, definitely. Oh, wait, I don’t mean FEMA [that was the first I had heard of this particular suspect, Jock is spreading rumors!] — I just mean the levees were blown.
Jock: Then you think Covert Commando did it [Covert Commando is a cartoon character].
Hope: It’s not just the levees. I think Katrina itself was done by some facility such as HAARP in Alaska.
Jock: You said Covert Commando did it.
Hope: The US Air Force has said “We will own the weather by 2025,” so they must be fairly far along to that goal. And I don’t mean simple stuff that we’ve admitted to such as flooding the Viet Cong in 1962.
Jock: What about 9-11?
Hope: What about it?
Jock: Why do you say it is a conspiracy?
Hope: Of course it was a false flag. Why else would the Air Force not have gone aloft?
Jock: Who do you blame? [I’m gonna let the “whom” go]
Jock: What about Bush?
Hope: Well, he must have known, as he didn’t spring into action when he was at that school reading to the children.
Jock: He wouldn’t reckon he was in immediate danger. [I am Australizing Jock out of a sort of affection; he didn’t really say ‘reckon’]
Hope: It’s not up to him to figure it out. The Secret Service is in charge.
Jock: Was 9-11 an intelligence failure?
Jock: Then you say Cheney knowingly did it?
Note for Gumshoe reader Ned: One of the ladies who greeted me afterward said “There’s an Agatha Christie character you remind me of, but you probably don’t know her”. I said “Would it be Miss Marple?” Yes! Also, one lady said she remembered my 2006 campaign “You spoke straight out, very clear.” Will wonders never cease. Eleven years ago!
To my surprise, not to say my great delight, “Jock” brought up the hot subject.
Jock: So you think Hillary Clinton and John Podesta were down in the deep dungeon of Comet Pizza Parlor doing terrible things to children?
Hope: I don’t know about the pizza parlor in particular, but I think John Podesta should be arrested for child trafficking. His own emails can be used to indict him.
Jock then wrapped up the program by reminding everyone that Mary had wasted everyone’s time [never mind that he had just subject the population to an additional 40 minutes of the same cruel treatment!]. And that Mary thinks “Covert Commando” laid the explosives under the levees in N’Orleans, and that “in the Sixties we made floods in the Nam.”
I ended by advising Jock that he should watch the Youtube video “Tuscaloosa Happy” and then go to Tuscaloosa and pick up some happiness.
About 20 minutes after the show, Jock emailed me using a different name. Here is the text:
- You have a new message:
- Via: https://www.maxwellforsenate.com/
- Message Details:
- Name John
- Email firstname.lastname@example.org
- Subject Get out now!
- Message Please do everyone a favor (not favour) and get out of the race now! You have NO chance of winning again.
- Sent on: 7 July, 2017
Do I consider that a veiled threat? Yes, I do. Of course I don’t think the Hate-on-Tap man composed it, but his boss. (Jock doesn’t strike me as having the finesse for the “favour’ comment.)
What should I do? If I wake up to find a horse’s head in my bed I may get the message, but for now I don’t really know what to do.
I plan to report the threat to police. That’s what I tell everybody else to do. Could be embarrassing if it’s on record.
–Mary Maxwell is campaigning for the US Senate from the state of Alabama. Please see her website www.MaxwellForSenate.com. The Book page gives out PDF’s of her many conspiracy books, such as Marathon Bombing: Indicting the Players.