By Kim Skeltys (copyright, 2023)
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese said yesterday that although he had rejected a Royal Commission into Covid, despite stridently calling for one as opposition leader, his government would set up “a far better alternative, namely a Royal Omission.”
Mr Albanese said the purpose of The Royal Omission would be to omit uncovering anything about the government’s covid measures over the past three years that might cause “great mental distress to the Australian public, and of course the government”.
“I hereby solemnly promise the Australian people,” said the Prime Minister, “The Royal Omission will exclude from its term of reference such troubling subjects as whether there was any evidence for lockdowns, masks, PCR tests, and covid vaccine mandates, and any harms such measures might have caused.”
Mr Albanese said the average Australian had supported the government “100%” in all the above covid measures, and had “berated, shamed and shunned” any friends and family members who didn’t.
“Hey, the last thing Australians want to find out is whether any of the measures actually worked, or had any science behind them,” said the Prime Minister. “I mean, if it turns out they didn’t, they might have to apologise to friends and family they had mocked, can you imagine the humiliation!”
“And you, gentlemen and ladies of the press, would have to admit you didn’t have a bloody clue what you were writing about for the past three years!”
Nervous laughter echoed from the assembled press gallery.
“But don’t worry, my fellow Australians,” said Mr Albanese. “A Royal Omission will ensure that never happens. Not a single one of you will ever have to eat humble pie.”
“Prime Minister! Avi Yemeni from Rebel News,” came a voice from the crowd, rudely interrupting the PM.
“Are you aware that the Scottish Government recently commissioned an independent expert called Dr Ashley Croft to conduct an inquiry into their Covid measures, and his report was damning?”
Mr Albanese turned to the government press officer beside him. “How the hell did Avi get into the conference despite my express instructions to ban him?”
“Sorry Prime Minister, but he came in disguise, wearing a mask and a Vote Yes for the Voice T shirt.”
Avi continued. “Dr Croft’s ‘Report for the Scottish Covid-19 Inquiry’ *was published on 10 July this year, and let me quote from its findings.”
“It states that for Scottish government measures such as ‘face mask mandates outside of healthcare settings, lockdowns, social distancing, test, trace and isolate measures there was either INSUFFICIENT evidence in 2020 to support their use, or alternatively, NO evidence.”
“Furthermore, it states, ‘the evidence base has not changed materially in the intervening three years.”
“I’m glad you brought that report up Avi,” said the Prime Minister.
“It shows the grave dangers of governments commissioning truly independent reports, for with findings like that, the public may end up losing all faith in their leaders.”
“In fact, the Scottish public may now see their government and health officials as complete fools with the collective IQ of a haggis.”
“But Prime Minister,” said Avi. ‘Won’t the Australian public also see their leaders as fools and galahs once the report is published in the Australian media?”
At this point, the other journos began laughing en masse, as did Albanese.
“Avi, the MSM have already moved on, to endless coverage of the Voice and the next scary covid variant, they have no interest in covering a story about some obscure Scottish report.”
“And once our misinformation bill passes, any reports like that on social media will be labelled disinfo and quickly dumped to avoid humungous fines,” said Mr Albanese.
“But Avi, you are most welcome to omit the report to the Royal Omission.”
“But don’t you mean ‘submit” the report, Prime Minister?”
“Oh yes, sorry, just a slip of the tongue!” said Mr Albanese, as he started to laugh, as did the rest of the press gallery, some of them rolling on the floor in riotous mirth.
Fence Canberra’s borders, have its UN AND WHO masters declare it a world nature reserve, declare it a 15 minute city experiment and send in the lions with the hyenas to clean it out.
Perfect reminder that getting fizzed up & furious about the likes of Albanese & Co just imputes undue credit.
The person who took the cover shot should be given a photographers gold medal
Or is it just that he(Albanese) is just naturally photogenic?
Pity that the value of the Brittany Higgins scandal has been largely missed
I mean, personally speaking,the brain-dead response to concerns raised with any Minister has always been a major issue
But it never occurred to me that such banter is composed by SUCH low-lifes
Way OT – I twigged to this concept forty odd years ago. I had enough of ‘American women’ (I went overseas and married an Irish/English woman). Now it has become more mainstream with a group called ‘Passport Bros’ – LOL!
It is just further indication of the decline of the American Empire.
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/passport-bros-feminists-are-outraged-men-going-overseas-find-traditional-wives
When I was young I used to know a guy who played this Canadian song all the time
Damn Mandela Effect again. When I was young the band was called ‘The Who’, not ‘Guess Who’. At least the words to the song haven’t changed.
Opps, the Guess Who is a different Canadian band, not the English ‘The Who’.
I don’t get it, the conservatives are bad enough already, why do we need an ALP ?
Let’s have a Royal Omission for the communist ALP and their collaborators, Green & Teal Party. Maybe something good and perhaps HONEST could rise from the ashes of these oxygen thieves
“GOING CASHLESS: Implantables Next?
Australia is Going CASHLESS”
YouTube
Launching pad social credit CCP style.
RBA took out $1b in notes
But wait there’s more
The end game for our liberators is to control and own all real estate, breed out euro stock increasing population to mixed-race trancehuman slaves.
In this dystopia, all other races are above light skins, as banksters make wars where whites kill whites predominantly since 1914.
Oz is devolving into third world global gulag, where puppies like Tony basically do as they’re told, destroying small business so philanthropists monopolise trade through coles woolies aldi bunnings and amazon.
Liebore party is a front for communism, promising bs using government to enslave us all.
All of these operatives should be behind bars, instead they make millions in kickbacks.