Home Satire Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices

Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices

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(Photo – Babylon Bee)

Introduction by Dee McLachlan: In 2014 we reported how Dr Paul Craig Roberts (once appointed by President Reagan as the Assistant Secretary of the Treasury for Economic Policy and so much more) described how the greed of Wall Street had gouged out the US economy over the last few decades, leaving it an empty shell – something President Trump has been trying to reverse.

That trend (loss of manufacturing, youth unemployment, high asset prices, etc.) happened here in Australia, with the government declaring – even bragging — that “Australia is open for business” (i.e., “Australia is up for sale“). 

Around May 2016, we had posted Greg Buck’s idea of legislating political sponsorship — forcing politicians to wear sponsor badges on their clothing.

Oz F1 driver Daniel Ricciardo, and former PM Malcolm Turnbull

Sponsor disclosure would be start to understanding the manipulations of the media and the (overseas) corporatocracy.

But a satirical site has gone one better — barcodes. The remaining part of the article is from the Babylon Bee:

Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout (21/6/2019):

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a move to make purchasing congresspeople easier and faster for lobbyists, Congress voted to approve a new measure that calls for congresspeople to wear barcodes on their foreheads so lobbyists, activists, and corporations can simply scan them and self-checkout.

Self-checkout machines will be installed at all exits of the Capitol Building, so once they’ve added congresspeople to their cart, lobbyists can pay right on the way out.

“Purchasing congresspeople used to be a time-consuming, expensive process,” said a Planned Parenthood representative. “Now, we can simply walk through Congress, scan all the congresspeople that are for sale, and checkout without having to interact with any humans.”

“We hate humans—like, a lot,” the PP rep added.

One major military-industrial complex lobby group, Americans For Bigger Bombs, said they are also in support of the new move.

“When you need to make a quick pit stop at our nation’s legislative body to purchase a few congresspeople to start a new war, you need to do it fast,” said one AFBB lawyer. “An attack on Iran can’t wait while you wheel and deal, wine and dine, and negotiate endlessly. Now, I can just scan and go.”

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10 COMMENTS

  1. One ex local member pictured, had a tiered system where one could partake in various high end chin wags.
    $5,000, $10,000 etc up to $50,000 membership fees.
    I wrote to him and simply advised that I could not afford him as my local member.
    I received no acknowledgement or reply…………… I should have realised that any response depended on how much $ I put in the envelope.

  3. OFF TOPIC.
    Dowling runs the website linked below. I do not like Dowling… full of accusations without evidence!
    BUT, he normally has loyalists commenting on his articles.
    STRANGE. No comments being posted on his latest article linked below.
    https://kangaroocourtofaustralia.com/2019/06/19/justice-john-sackar-interferes-again-in-the-seven-west-media-tim-worner-amber-harrison-sex-drug-and-fraud-case/
    Want to try a comment on his site and report result/s.
    I will not try, as I have stated, I do not like him, but his reports are interesting.

  5. Since coming here in 1966 , have seen three regime changes .
    The crown , the khazars and now ccp globalisation .
    The gulag down under – 5G is here .
    “You get you’re freedom of choice , as long as you don’t say too much .”

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