by Dee McLachlan
A few days ago, an insider within the Department of Home Affairs in Canberra emailed me a secret document. This person believes the Minister of Home Affairs, Peter Dutton, is hoping to bring in new legislation to enhance the security of the country. The document, called the Punishment Doctrine, is not only a cost saving plan, but returns Australia to its colonial roots.
Brandis, of course, won’t be in Canberra to see the new laws implemented, as he is to join the post-parliamentary merry–go–round and replace Alexander Downer as High Commissioner to London. This will create an opening at the main table for new trough feeders in Canberra.
The Punishment Doctrine
The main drive for these new punishments is that, (1) Australia can’t build jails fast enough, and (2) the new punishments will not only reduce spending, but will add to government revenue. It costs nearly $300 to keep someone behind bars each day, so billions will be saved.
These are a few extracts from the document:
Banishment: Since Ancient Times offenders were expelled from their homes and sent abroad, or to another region as a punishment. Australia was once the “abroad”, but last year Canberra re-adopted this policy with much success. The visas or residency of many violent offenders were cancelled, and about 70 crims were sent packing. The cost of exporting someone is around $2500, as opposed to keeping a criminal in jail at $110,000 per year, every year. Huge savings.
Birching: Beating a person across the backside with twigs is to be brought back in to deal with minor traffic infringements. On-the-spot birching for jay walkers will also become a tourist attraction in the major cities — bringing in extra foreign revenue.
Branding: Branding was abolished in Britain in 1829, but as a tribute to Attorney General George Brandis, the present-day version will be “Brandising” — branding detectable bar codes with laser technology.
Grampussing: The olden-days punishment for minor offences was to tie a sailor’s hands above his head and pour buckets of water down his sleeves. This will be modified and used on those who have lost their memory. Any person in an inquest that says, “I can’t recall” will be grampussed with icy water — in public.
Keel Hauling: The Dutch navy was keen on keelhauling — dragging a sailor beneath the vessel, and under the ship’s keel. This punishment is planned for any politician accused of rorting their expenses. It is suggested that Sydney Harbour ferries be used, and tickets to paying snorkeling spectators sold at $150 per keel haul spectacle. Expected revenue, including broadcast rights: $150 million each year.
Pillory and Stocks could be the interval entertainment during AFL and NFL games.
These are only a few examples.
The document also mentions double-agent Sam Dastyari, who was paid a $1,670 travel bill by an Institute with links to the Chinese government, and suggests the rack.
Side note: But Dastyari is obviously a complete amateur. Recall Andrew Robb’s “consulting deal” with Chinese owned Landbridge (also with links to the Chinese government)? It is $800,000 each and every year. The ex-Minister of Trade and Industries “facilitated” the sale (99-year lease) of the strategic Port of Darwin through meet and greets. Robb then resigned, and after a few months became a consultant who didn’t have to do any consulting. Maybe the consulting had already been done while he was a minister.
The Origin of Politicians’ Names — like “Turnbull”
Australians now realize that when they were voting for Andrew “Robb” they should have twigged that “robbery” was being hinted at. Let’s also have a look at the etymology of our Prime Minister’s appellation.
The prime minister of course would like you to believe the “official” myth regarding the derivation of his name. It goes like this: “William of Rule saved King Robert Bruce by wrestling to the ground a bull that had charged at the King”… resulting in the name Turnebull. The “e” was later dropped. But don’t believe it. Let me explain the origin of Turn and the bull.
A “turncoat” is “a person who shifts allegiance from one loyalty or ideal to another, betraying or deserting an original cause by switching to the opposing side.” The word turncoat was derived from switching a uniform coat to match the color of the enemy.
Concomitantly, in France, a soap box orator, spouting deceptive and misleading stories, would be called out for his “boul”, “bole” or just plain bull. Marry the two — and you have a Turnbull. The perfect politician.
Hell, Dee, imagine if every Aussie who reads The Age or the SMH would read your stuff instead. It would really change history.
Dee, if this story is on the up and up, we will have plenty of entertainment but not many surviving politicians, lawyers judges and police hierarchy. Especially if some of our judges are cleanskins. That is, those who are prepared to carry out their true judicial duties. (Those who have not already been compromised.)
The cleanskins whom Mal describes should be canonized as saints.
The rest should be keelhauled. (And I would gladly go the $150 to watch, ‘xept I can’t snorkel.)
Of course I wouldn’t rule out that Dee has gone a bit heavy into the eggnog.
The addendum to the scret report has been overlooked.
A few dozen old stocks are to be lined down Martin Place in Sydney where the bankers hangout.
Used effectively by lunch time citizens they will be able to chuck left overs from their lunch box and thise bankers who manage to collect the odd mouthfull (no hands!) might manage to avoid starvation after a month and then be freed.
It will attract boatloads of tourists to Sydney and cover the capital costs of the stocks and the hosing down of the mess every hour or so.
I’ve got an idea, maybe they should charge the audience / pedestrians at the ‘Flinders Street Stage’ when they do the next fake terror attack.
April 1 is three-months-and-a-bit from here.
April 1 is when they turn parliament house in a detention centre.
Interesting! pity they didn’t build prisons for the Government only! they’d need more then a couple! . I know from good sources, Turnbull, Keating, Whitlam, Beasley, and many more were picking up ‘rent boys’ at Darlinghurst Wall, NSW. Makes me wonder how the punishment turns on innocent public and not these scoundrels!! all the more to clean up these dirt bags first, before laying down and bringing in ridiculous laws on Australian people, then again,.doesn’t surprise me one bit, their mostly liars and Manson’s……
Jeepers, Cherri, Jeepers!
Ms Eggnog doesn’t know what she has started.
And to think Phil Hingston and I attended the Amirah Droudis trial right near the Darlinghurst Wall. I hope nobody caught us on dashcam… Here’s the scoop:
https://timalderman.com/2017/10/09/gay-history-the-wall-green-park-darlinghurst-nsw/
Yea, I lived mere metres away and walked the dog there..
Sad collection against the wall and purring rollers often double parked with the ‘Darlo’ coppers over the other side of the block counting their take.
(Late 70’s – early 80s)
The good old days , when the fridges at the cop stations were full of beer only .
As opposed to?
… the steel capped gestapo boot in our faces .
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So OK, the Minister may bring in the new punishment doctrine, and that means the criminal laws will be amended. I’d like y’all to re-read this article by Dee and see if you can spot anyone who, under the proposed legislation, would be eligible for birching, brandising, or banishing. Or all three. Or something else.
https://gumshoenews.com/2017/05/31/the-a-b-c-program-of-the-lindt-cafe-siege.
These names are mentioned in the article:
Head of CounterTerrorism Cath Burn
Deputy Chief Constable Simon Chesterman
Assistant Commissioner Mark Jenkins
Assistant Commissioner Mark Murdoch
Police Commissioner Andrew Scipione
Senior Constable Paul Withers
and. … drumroll …. The Nameless Psychiatrist, Advisor to the Negotiating Team
Hey ah folks, …………………… we had a definite, provable, staged false terror attack in Flinders St. Melbourne 8 days ago ! ,……………Is anybody interested ?
A relatively careful study of the supposed victims getting up and exiting the scene after fake impact, exposes the special effects used.
7news CCTV Melbourne Australia White Suzuki SUV Car Attack