Home Satire New sport approved for Australian schools: Russian Roulette

New sport approved for Australian schools: Russian Roulette

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Editor’s note: This is SATIRE, just to be sure… just to be sure.

by Kim Skeltys (©  2021)

Australian school kids will now have the chance to play “the thrilling new sport of Russian Roulette” Health Minister Greg Hunt has announced.

Mr Hunt said $10 billion has been spent on providing all schools with revolvers and ammunition, generously supplied by arms manufacturer Murderna.

“Now all Australian children will have the exciting opportunity to play with loaded guns” said Mr Hunt.

Mr Hunt denied that the sport was dangerous, as the revolvers had been specially modified to have 10 chambers instead of 6, making them “very safe”.

And as an extra safety measure, some of the guns would only contain blanks to “greatly reduce the chance of death and injury.”

“Rigorous trials testing the game on children have been conducted by Murderna,” said Mr Hunt, “And using these ‘child-safe’ revolvers, child fatalities were very rare,” Mr Hunt said.

Although it was true that one school girl in the trial did end up in a wheelchair, Mr Hunt said “Statistically, children have excellent odds of surviving the game.”

As an added precaution, each school will have its own ambulance and team of paramedics on standby.

However, if any child was unlucky enough to be injured by the first shot, they would not be required to get a second.

“The welfare of children is always our paramount concern,” said Mr Hunt.

Mr Hunt said the Federal Government had plans to introduce further novel sports for children into the school curriculum in the near future, including the William Tell Game – free apples and crossbows would be provided – defusing live time bombs, and a cross country run across a minefield.

A multi-million-dollar contract had already been signed with a prosthetic limbs manufacturer in readiness.

“For some children, the cross-country run will be ideal preparation for competing in one-legged races,” said Mr Hunt.

“And what child wouldn’t love to be William Tell, and have a go at shooting an apple off his classmate’s head with a real crossbow?”

Even if the child misfired and the arrow ended up in the heart, paramedics were well trained to deal with such an emergency, said Mr Hunt.

“After all they’ve had lots of practice treating cardiomyopathy of the heart in kids after the covid vaccines,” he said.

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20 COMMENTS

  1. Going to be funny after Nuremberg 2 when the convicted face a firing squad of 7 and only one member of the squad has a blank cartridge loaded. ( satire … not?)

  3. A non-fiction story about schools.
    Saginaw in the state of Michigan (pop about 50,000) had to shut all schools because there are no spare teachers in Michigan and they are quitting, leaving town or being hospitalised by va666ines.
    Michigan is one of the states expected to flip the vote off Biden when their audit is eventually done and the corrupt politicians are put in the spotlight so the judiciary is forced to grow a spine.
    Other states are Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Georgia, probably a few more and most outstanding of course Arizona which is claimed by Biden but this is virtually inconceivable that Arizona citizens would want to open their border and have South Americans of every stripe pouring in. This type of thing just doesn’t happen, whatever anyone’s political bias may be, we have already seen it in Australia with John Howard’s “truth overboard” election win but Arizona is worse.
    https://nationalfile.com/michigan-schools-close-due-to-teacher-shortage-caused-by-reactions-to-covid-booster/

    • Aren’t teachers all left-wing, shouldn’t they be pouring into Michigan and rolling up their sleeves for some of Gates’ death shots ? But it seems they are heading for Florida instead. Maybe they have worked out the sea level rises are another big lie. What sea level rise.
      Sea level is nearly impossible to measure accurately over long periods anyway because the continents are constantly flexing and bulging, islands are growing and sinking, you would need to work out the exact centre of gravity of the planet and take the sea level from there.
      In Australia plenty of places are 200 metres above current sea level but anyone can confirm by looking at the erosion of the rocks that they were part of the shore line a long long time ago. And Australia is one of the more geologically stable places in the world. The entire basin of Port Phillip Bay in Melbourne collapsed 10,000 years ago and the sea flooded in, creating the foundation for the city we know now.
      Sea level rising, ClimateChange™, Covid1-19™, va666inations, LockDowns™, the lies just keep pouring out, like the printed money which is driving the inflation these days.

      • US inflation is causing a fracture in Biden’s senate majority of zero ( does V.P. Kamala get the casting vote ? I am guessing so ). I heard the US was printing up to one trillion a month and Australia has been tagging along with MMT ( Modern Monetary Theory aka Magic Money Tree ) at a rate of AUD 2 billion a year as far as I recall.

        ( 3 minute video supplied for background but otherwise somewhat slow and dull I would say )

        • $2b is small change, w3. They’re doing $100b a year here, and at least $1.2T in the US a year. Which does not include 1 penny on FJoe’s ‘budgets’ and other such projects.

  4. What The US Dem commies are doing is
    Devastating. Think what our mob is going to do to satisfy their controllers. Think Dan/m.
    X22report.com
    Report 2629.
    Note at the commencement what freedoms are being withdrawn in the US.
    Now wake up and realise what our mob will do as dictated by their international commandants.
    Note what is happening in Austria.

    • Obligatory Royal Clip (1 min)

      Larry Page of “Do No Evil” also on the list, many others not surprising such as Larry “Just Doing My Job” Fink. It’s a big club and you’re not in it.

  6. All jokes aside the situation is just one more instance of a long-festering boil erupting. Anyone who’s ever taken a good hard look at any sort of reputable child development study could tell you that enrolling any child under 10 in any government controlled school has ALWAYS been like playing Russian roulette

  7. Kim Skeltys very good satire. If only the real situation of the murder and injuries to children by deliberate planning was not a “sport” of the globalists and their lackeys.

  9. Saw this recently for jobs, but you could use this list with your doctors too!

    IF YOUR BOSS THREATENS YOU WITH FIRING IF NOT VACCINATED DON’T REFUSE:

    The secret is NOT to refuse the jab and do not sign anything!

    From a lawyer:

    If you are being forced to Vax in order to keep your job, here’s a great way to handle it. (Conditional acceptance)

    The secret is NOT to refuse it.

    “I write with regard to the matter of potential covid vaccine and my desire to be fully informed and appraised of ALL facts before going ahead. I’d be most grateful if you could please provide the following information, in accordance with statutory legal requirements.”:

    Can you please advise the approved legal status of any vaccine and if it is experimental?
    Can you please provide details and assurances that the vaccine has been fully, independently and rigorously tested against control groups and the subsequent outcomes of those tests?
    Can you please advise the entire list of contents of the vaccine I am to receive and if any are toxic to the body?
    Can you please fully advise of all the adverse reactions associated with this vaccine since it’s introduction?
    Can you please confirm that the vaccine you are advocating is NOT experimental mRNA gene altering therapy?
    Can you please confirm that I will not be under any duress from yourselves as my employers, in compliance with the Nuremberg Code?
    Can you please advise me of the likely risk of fatality, should I be unfortunate to contract Covid 19 and the likelihood of recovery?
    Can you please advise me if I were to experience any adverse reactions is the manufacturer of the vaccine liable? If the manufacturer isn’t liable will the company I’m currently employed with with be responsible & liable as it is their request that I have the vaccine in order to carry on my employment?

    Once I have received the above information in full and I am satisfied that there is NO threat to my health, I will be happy to accept your offer to receive the treatment, but with certain conditions – namely that:

    You confirm in writing that I will suffer no harm.
    Following acceptance of this, the offer must be signed by a fully qualified doctor who will take full legal and financial responsibility for any injuries occurring to myself, and/or from any interactions by authorized personnel regarding these procedures.
    In the event that I should have to decline the offer of vaccination, please confirm that it will not compromise my position and that I will not suffer prejudice and discrimination as a result?

    I would also advise that my inalienable rights are reserved.

    The point is that if they CANNOT provide that information you’ve NOT refused.

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