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Why We Should Add Prozak To The Public Water Supply – Dr Quackenbush’s Modest Proposal

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(with apologies to Jonathan Swift)

By Kim Skeltys (copyright 2022)

Gumshoe News is proud to publish this brave public health proposal from the esteemed physician and pharmaceutical industry scientist Dr Kon Quackenbush MD, B.S.

As I’m sure you’ll agree, mental illness is a serious public health issue afflicting thousands of Australians, with many unable to afford psychiatric care, or even alcohol.

Yet there is a sensible, socially equitable, and science based-solution as simple as turning on your tap.

And that is for the government to put Prozak*, the highly regarded anti-depressant medication, into the public water supply. (* Not to be confused with Prozac, its better known chemical cousin).

Now while this might sound like a radical measure, already the government adds vitamin D to milk and iodine to salt to improve the public’s health.

And though some might decry my proposal as “mass medication”, I prefer the term “mass magication” – because like magic, Water Magication* will make the depression of the masses vanish overnight (* just like water fluoridation has banished tooth decay, and the covid vaccines have of course eliminated covid as promised).

Prozak’s excellence as an anti-depressant is undisputed:  dozens of clinical trials by pharmaceutical companies have proven it is at least as effective as a placebo, and sometimes even better.

And  Prozak can be consumed equally by infants, adults, the sick and the elderly without any harm, making it unique amongst drugs – the only medicine in history* in fact that can be given in absolutely  the same dose to everyone (*apart from fluoride).

Numerous scientific studies have found Prozak to be completely safe, with virtually no side-effects, just like the covid vaccines (except for possibly the following: joint pain, osteoporosis, arthritis, bone and hip fracture, migraines, chronic fatigue, thyroid dysfunction, brain damage, arteriosclerosis, heart disease, endocrine system disruption, pineal gland calcification, gastro-intestinal upset, reduced iron metabolism and anemia, enzyme damage, bone, liver, kidney and ovarian cancer,  ADHD, Downs Syndrome, increased lead absorption, impaired immune system response, early onset of puberty, connective tissue damage, Alzheimer’s  Disease, and lowering of IQ – by sheer coincidence, all have been linked to fluoride too ).

But let me reassure the public that only a handful of scientific studies (a few thousand at most) support such claims.

And the correct response to such stuff and nonsense is to repeat: “Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but scary claims will never hurt me.”

In fact, the Australian government’s National Health and Medical Research Council examined many of these studies in 2007, in their authoritative report “The safety and efficacy of water magication” (not to be confused with the NHMRC’s authoritative 2007 report, “The safety and efficacy of water fluoridation”, which of course was a work of fiction.)

Amazingly, the entire report on water magication was written at truly breath-taking speed in a mere two months (including the Christmas break) to meet the government’s deadline, an impressive achievement indeed when you consider such reviews normally take a year or more.

“Fortunately we are all accomplished speed readers,” said NHMRC spokesperson Dr Robert Stamp, “But I can assure you the NHMRC thoroughly overlooked – I mean, looked over – all studies of water magication, and by ‘all’ I mean, the 2 percent of them that met our strict selection criteria, and excluding all 1,000 animal studies of course, as just because drinking magicated water for a lifetime was found to fill rats brains with holes like Swiss cheese doesn’t mean it will do the same to us, after all – ha ha ha!”

“Anyway, this left us with only about 70 studies to look at – a damn sight easier than ploughing through the original 5000, I can tell you.”

“And while some studies did find harm, others didn’t, and so in the end, we concluded because water magication couldn’t be conclusively proven unsafe, this meant it was conclusively proven safe – and I challenge anyone to find a flaw in that logic.”

But predictably, despite such proven –beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt assurances of safety, Water Magication has already attracted opposition from the “Tin-Foil Hat” brigade, led by a notorious chemistry professor who has developed the strange delusion that just because he has spent half his life studying Prozak (and fluoride too), he actually knows something about it!

Other fruitcakes in his outfit include three ex-toxicology experts from the US Environmental Protection Agency, a dozen or so science professors, a few hundred doctors, a few thousand health professionals, and a Swedish scientist who somehow won a Nobel Prize for Medicine – I mean, clearly a rabble of disreputable ratbags!

Thank God our newspaper editors rarely publish their ravings, out of consideration for their good readers who, sadly, are too simple-minded to think for themselves.

Of course, some civil libertarians would decry Water Magication as an infringement of our right to refuse medication.

But no one will actually be forced to consume magicated water – they can always buy a water filter (a reverse osmosis system can be purchased for as little as $1000) and simply need to avoid going out and eating and drinking in all cafes, restaurants, bars, and nightclubs in most of the country, drinking 99% of Australian made beer, soft drinks and most bottled fruit juice, and showering or bathing, for the rest of their life.

Being whingers, they will probably complain about this minor inconvenience.

Let me assure everyone that the amount of Prozak added to our water will be strictly controlled at the safe dosage of one tablet per litre, so there is no risk of anyone overdosing (unless of course, they foolishly binge drink say three or four litres a day, in which case stomach pumps can be supplied free of charge.)

Admittedly, the high cost of pharmaceutical-grade Prozak could be prohibitive, but fortunately one of my good friends in the chemical industry has found a solution.

Dr Alan Minion (not to be confused with the metal aluminium) was for many years a research scientist for the well-known US aluminium manufacturer, Al Cobra.

One day Dr Minion made a momentous and serendipitous discovery: from aluminium and fertilizer waste he was able to extract a chemical almost identical to Prozak, and with the same magicating effect, called Fuhrercidic Acid(sometimes confused with Fluorosilicic Acid, the chemical extracted from aluminium and fertilizer waste to fluoridate drinking water).

More commonly known as “Fuhrercide”, its disposal however is a problem for the industry- it is illegal to dump into our rivers or bays, since it poisons half the wildlife.

But Dr Minion has come up with an ingenious proposal – why not put Fuhrercide in the public’s drinking water?

I know what you’re thinking – what a wonderful idea!

So too do our aluminium and fertilizer industry leaders, who have kindly offered to sell their Fuhrercide to the government “for a small fee”.

“It really is a win-win solution,” Dr Minion pointed out gleefully. “The government gets cheap Fuhrercide, and our industry can dispose of its toxic waste for a handsome, I mean modest, profit.”

However, he assured me the Fuhrercide would be diluted to a “safe non-toxic” level.

“Don’t worry, the truth is -it will be watered down .The Fuhrercide I mean,” he said. “Especially after our PR department gets to work on it.”

He said no tests needed to be done on the chemical (just as none were on fluorosilicic acid) as it was almost the same as Prozak, and so “just as safe –probably”.

Admittedly, Fuhrercide would also contain minute amounts of contaminants such as arsenic, lead, cadmium, mercury and uranium, some of them potential carcinogens.

“Frankly, it would cost us too much to remove them completely- or at all”, said Dr Minion candidly.

“But these are completely safe to consume over a lifetime,” he added. ”Probably”.

Government ministers and bureaucrats I’ve spoken to are very excited about this idea.

“Opinion polls tell us that the public very much wants us to appear to be doing something about improving mental health in this country,” said Sir Humphrey Appleby, speaking on condition of anonymity, “and Treasury is highly impressed by this admirably economical proposal, and its excellent industry-friendly nature.”

“They have even suggested a slogan for the health campaign: “Fuhrercide –if you swallow this, you’ll swallow anything!”

Also very interested is well-known toothpaste manufacturer Watergate: they too want to “contribute to the mental as well as dental health of Australians” by adding their own form of Fuhrercide to toothpaste, and have even offered to donate generously to dental institutes and universities for studies extolling Fuhrercide’s benefits.

Said a spokesperson: “Just like another brand leading toothpaste manufacturer, in return for our generosity we hope universities will be persuaded to create positions with our company name in the title, such as “Watergate Professor of Dentistry”*, with every confidence the professor appointed will publish impartial research into this highly profitable chemical” (* not to be confused with “Colgate Professors of Dentistry”, found at various Australian universities).

Yes, I know what some of you are thinking by now: I must be stark raving mad, even criminally insane, only complete idiots would support such an outrageous measure.

But I predict my modest proposal will one day be heartily endorsed by governments and their  health authorities in all English speaking countries, and their former servile colonies.

And ironically, it’s the opponents of adding Fuhrercide to the public water supply who will be called the raving loonies!

By the way, if you’re at all curious about the history of the completely unrelated topic of water fluoridation, whatever you do, DON’T look at this website, as it’s full of misinformation like scientific studies: Fluoride Action Network | Broadening Public Awareness on Fluoride. (fluoridealert.org)

Never ever read studies yourself, because frankly you are too dumb to understand them.

Instead, just trust me – I’m a doctor, after all – and trust the government health authorities who as we know are infallible, as they have proven during the Covid19 pandemic, while repeating at least a few hundred times this hypnotically soothing phrase: “Fuhrercide is safe and effective”.

This mantra works like magic, especially if you take an anti-depressant with your next glass of tap water- which you just might need after reading this.

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28 COMMENTS

  2. There’s a Big Difference Between Naturally Occurring Fluoride, and the Artificial Industry Byproduct We Add to Our Water Supplies

    by Nick Meyer | December 18, 2020

    On the heels of recent news that the fluoride in North American drinking water supplies is considered to be a neurotoxin according to a recent study in the top peer-review medical journal The Lancet, on par with some of the most notorious environmental toxins out there, many people are becoming more interested in the truth about fluoride.

    Specifically, most people still do not know the difference between the naturally occurring calcium fluoride and other industrialized forms that are added to water supplies in North America (but not throughout most of Europe, and many other high-tech countries).

    That’s because the term “fluoride” is often thrown around without making a distinction between these substances.

    There are three types of fluoride used to “fluoridate” water supplies: Fluorosilicic acid, sodium fluorosilicate and sodium fluoride.

    Fluorosilicic acid is the type most often used for cost reasons, and it is derived from phosphate fertilizers according to the CDC’s website.

    The other two are created by adding either table salt or caustic soda to the mix…………….”

    https://althealthworks.com/what-is-the-difference-between-natural-fluoride-and-the-kind-that-is-artificially-added-to-our-water-supply/

  3. ‘Fuherecide’ is already being distributed to the public by telalievision.
    Better than Prozac is the latest at x22report.com episode 2950b.
    Be happy🤡🤡🤡🤡, it is a sure treatment……. Truth and reality cures much.
    The Twitter is especially effective.

  4. You’d Better Watch Out: The Surveillance State Is Making a List, and You’re On It
    John Whitehead

    You’d better watch out—you’d better not pout—you’d better not cry—‘cos I’m telling you why: this Christmas, it’s the Surveillance State that’s making a list and checking it twice, and it won’t matter whether you’ve been bad or good.

    You’ll be on this list whether you like it or not.

    Mass surveillance is the Deep State’s version of a “gift” that keeps on giving…back to the Deep State.

    Read on –

    https://off-guardian.org/2022/12/16/youd-better-watch-out-the-surveillance-state-is-making-a-list-and-youre-on-it/

  6. Off topic, but of relevance to the concept of the ‘normies’. I tried to communicate to a good friend some of my reservations about the Queensland cop shooting. I kept it short and to the point with the established evidence. What came back as a reply was a VERY long winded essay on conspiracy theory. Here is just a sample of the reply –

    “So far, I’ve found Wikipedia to be the most believable of the online sources – probably because its source is the world’s entire online population and anyone can call out a false narrative and provide evidence of a different version. SNOPES was the original fact-checking website and while the far right claim that SNOPES is a left wing tool – their fact checking has accorded more closely with my life experience than any of the other fact-checking clones that have come along since.”

    It doesn’t matter what evidence I present, his mind is controlled. I don’t want to abandon him, but I feel it is a waste of time. This is hard on me, we have a long time together with many shared experiences as helicopter pilots in Vietnam. – I suppose some times you just have to let go…

    • Probably just need to change a few labels – “left wing” becomes Globalist Communist Infiltration, “far right” becomes Conservative etc.
      These people are locked into their networks and seem to find it next to impossible to break ranks or god forbid to do a backflip.
      Just heard the crooked ABC TV sneak out a tiny squeak of real information, they said they couldn’t play the “Train” video because it was too disturbing ( more than all the usual death orgies on the news ? ) but they told us Train brothers said “They came here to kill us so we killed them”. I was trying to find the video last night but gave up. Daily Mail is covering it:
      https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11546061/New-details-emerge-killers-Stacey-Nathaniel-Gareth-Train-cop-survived-attends-vigil.html
      Nothing yet on Cairnsnews but they have Bosi talking about Pine gap, human trafficking through Townsville etc after 2:00:00
      https://rumXXXXble.com/v1zo6q2-december-8-2022.html

      Rumble is censored AGAIN !!! take out the XXXX

      • I would just about put money on the cops visit being a guns roundup thing. Their superiors would be thinking, these are nice preppers, used to be school teachers, we can check them out for unregistered guns and confiscate the whole lot, easy job, so they sent 4 cops out to do the deed and … ends in a media event, make that into a heads we win, tails you lose situation.

        • Rockerfellas bought Encyclopaedia Brittanica so that’s worse.
          “Who can we trust” is a silly question, you can’t trust anyone.

          • MASTERS OF DECEPTION

            To be an Orthodox Jew is to agree with the Talmud that, “It is permitted to deceive a goy.” (Baba Kama 113b) ,

            Revelation 3:9,”Behold, I give out of the synagogue of Satan those saying themselves to be Jews, and they are not, but they lie. Behold, I will make them come and bow down before your feet, and they shall know that I loved you.”

            Romans 2:28-29 “……….For he is not a Jew that is one outwardly, nor is circumcision that outwardly in the flesh; but he is a Jew that is one inwardly and circumcision is of the heart, in spirit, not in letter; of whom the praise is not from men, but from God.”

            Palestine — Shems Allotment — Taken by Force by Canaan, a Son of Shems’ Brother, Ham

          • “Who can we trust ?”
            “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.”
            PROVERBS 5:15

        • Happy Chanukah

          Chanukah begins Sunday evening, December 18, and continues through Monday, December 26

          Dear Friend,

          As the winter gets darker and colder, we are oh-so ready for the overarching message of the Chanukah lights: There is always a miracle around the corner and even the bleakest situations can become increasingly brighter.

          This is all the more powerful when experienced together with family and friends during this Hakhel year, when Jews all over the world gather together to learn Torah, gain inspiration, and bask in each others’ uplifting presence.

          And as we add another flame each night (taking care to light on Friday afternoon before the Shabbat candles, and on Saturday night after Shabbat is over), revel in the additional gift of spiritual light that each one brings.

          With wishes for a Chanukah filled with light, joy, miracles, and togetherness!

  7. Don’t need fuhrercide, here we’re “pirbright wellcome” covered. 5 bswl4 labs manufacturing bio-weapons, selling them as jabs, making a killing.

  8. Arrest Quackenbush for anti-semitism!

    $10,000 fine for any of the readers in this thread who did not crack down on the antisemitic tone (friendly references to Fuhrer).

  12. According to Mike Burgess’ glib blab ASIO ought to be investigating foreign corporations such as “Government” and agencies such as the “Police Forces”. But then, perhaps ASIO can’t because that would be a “conflict of interest”.

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