More on Cheney: Biggus Dickus Outjerks Himself (satire)

by Mary W Maxwell, PhD, LLB

The reason this article is categorized as ‘satire’ is because the editor told me to lighten up (after my very sad Sandy Hook piece yesterday). But how can anything be satire nowadays when reality is as satirical as you can get?

As to the reason why the title begins with “More On Cheney,” I’m sure everyone caught the pun: Moron Cheney. Regarding the dimensions of his what’s-it, we can’t be sure if that is relevant. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. 

On June 24, 2105, a DailyMail journalist named David McCormack (or maybe he is just a crisis actor?) told us the amazing news:

“Former vice president Dick Cheney believes that a terrorist attack even worse than the destruction of the twin towers on September 11, 2001 is probable before the end of the decade.”

The Daily Mail story allegedly arose from an interview with Hugh Hewitt (whose Mom apparently had a stutter). They were discussing what might turn up between 2015 and 2020. Cheney said he doubts the United States will “get through this decade without another massive attack on the homeland.” Well, heck, he’s entitled to his opinion, isn’t he?

However, Cheney went further, even venturing a wild guess as to what might happen. He asked “what if somebody could smuggle a nuclear device, put it in a shipping container, and drive it down the beltway outside Washington D.C.”?

Well, one thing that could happen is that the principals would have absented themselves from the capital that day. (See, I can make predictions, too.)

The Iran-Contra Iceberg

As for “nuclear involvement,” that is getting to be old hat. CIA defector Al Martin tells us that US Marine Lt Colonel Oliver North was in charge of Operation Sledgehammer. It was in place to kill off 70 million Americans with nuclear weapons. (Makes ya wunda, doesn’t it?)

Oliver North (b 1943)

Al Martin (see his website AlMartinRaw, for finance news) says the Sledgehammer disaster was waiting to be used, if necessary, as a cover-up for the Iran-Contra financial scandal. We are often told that Iran-Contra was only the tip of the iceberg. Where is the rest of the iceberg? What iceberg?

Anyway, nobody fussed so, thank God, Oliver did not have to press the button, or carry the football, or whatever the cutesy-pie expression was for that sort of thing.

Iran-Contra was 1980s material, but way back in 1969 – how old hat can you get? — Dr Richard Day had intimated to his nodding-off audience of medical students that nuking was on the cards.

Dr Day Again

Dr Dunegan quotes Day on the urgency of bringing in “the New International Political System.”  Day said: “If there were too many people in the right places who resisted this, there might be a need to use one or two or possibly more nuclear weapons.”

Nuking would possibly be utilized “to convince people that ‘We mean business.’” Day continued: “By the time one or two of those went off then everybody, even the most reluctant, would yield.”

I have to agree. I would yield, I would yield. Not that there’d be much point in yielding since agriculture would be ruined and I’d have no food a fortnight hence, but still, you do what you can to survive. Right on, Dr Day!

Oh – an aside. There was a bureaucrat in the Office of the DOJ, during Reagan’s time “on the throne” (if you know what I mean), who must have dotted some of the legal I’s, or crossed the T’s, of the Iran-Contra stuff. Young John Roberts.

Now to more recent “N” happenings. Chemistry Professor Niels Harrit of the University of Copenhagen (wonderful, wonderful place) confirms that the 9-11 dust contains thermite. The boom-boom-boom-booms were nuclearized. Any New Yorkers who put their mitts on the debris at WTC ought to get checked with a Geiger-counter.

Where Is Blanche?

I’d like to mention my friend Blanche Chavoustie, an MK-Ultra girl who has disappeared. She has unusual magnetic properties. One day when she was staying at my house she gave me a demo. We used a quarter (I means the part-silver 25-cent piece that’s probably worth more that 25 cents now for its silver content).

Blanche put the coin on her forehead, her breast, and the arch of her foot. In each case it stuck!  Then she handed it to me. I did the same, but in each case it fell right off. No point telling me I have a magnetic personality. Clearly I don’t.

Has this got anything to do with to my satire about Biggus? Well, he probably has the downlow on Blanche, including her current whereabouts. Maybe he’d share it under some sub-poenas.

Do you think we should subpoena him to ask — politely, of course, as one does — what gave him the notion that there would be a “worse than 9-11” thing? I mean since he’s the one that did 9-11 and all.

Could be relevant.

It’s hard to satirize this individual

Two Dick Cheney jokes from Jay Leno (there are many on the Internet):

1. What a nightmare I had last night. I dreamed I was at a Washington DC party and I had to choose between Dick Cheney taking me on a hunting trip or Ted Kennedy giving me a ride home.

2. I’m surprised Cheney loves to hunt so much. The five times the Government tried to give him a gun he got a deferment.

There. I kept everything light for today.

— Mary W Maxwell lives in Adelaide. Could you tell? Yesterday she received a shipment of her new book, “Fraud Upon the Court.” It’s a carton of 24 copies, and she doesn’t know which to read first.