Home Satire Dan … Our Man (Satire)

Dan … Our Man (Satire)

28

by DM

Gumshoe intercepted this letter:

安德鲁斯同志 首先，我们要祝贺您的出色服务和事业的进展。毛泽东会为你的最高努力感到自豪。 我们赞扬你采纳了我们的建议，说明你决定封锁的方式，让人们呆在家里262天。你甚至超过了我们的严格努力。…[first paragraph]

Translated:

Comrade Andrews

Firstly, we want to congratulate you for your excellent service and for progressing the cause. Mao Zedong would have been proud of your supreme efforts.

We applaud you for taking our advice on the manner in which you dictated the lockdowns and kept the people in their homes for 262 days. You surpassed even our rigorous efforts.

We understand that the CCP did receive a commission from the $1.1 billion as a result of the cancellation of the East-West Link. And we want to thank you for the generous payout to those corporate interests.

“No jab, no job” was progress, but we were hoping you’d make the next step of incarnating in re-education camps for those who refused the injections. We had offered to build the detainment centres, but understand that may have received a public backlash

Your cooperation during the lockdown curfew is much appreciated. This allowed us to fly our planes in and install the towers and surveillance systems during the night. That will greatly assist our cause going forward into the future constructing the social credit score.

Your efforts in assisting the CCP’s Belt and Road Initiative is very much treasured, and a plaque on the Great Wall will erected discretely in your honor.

It was very good to meet you personally when you were last here. Our secret meetings will be remembered for a century from today.

Please do not forget, we are making an offer to ‘deal with’ those persons that broke your back and ribs. That put you out for 111 days and was an embarrassment to us all. Regardless of what you did to attract their wrath. Just send us the names of those corporate thugs and we will send in a specialist team to deal with them.

On a final note, please consider the lucrative job offer regarding the Belt and Road Advisory Committee. It will only be 20 hours per year with compensation of $2 million per annum

We look forward to continuing our long relationship for the cause.

[Signature]

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28 COMMENTS

  1. FURTHE; We have arranged to have our WEFers via uncle KLAUS for you to have an office next to our lovely Jacinda.
    Of course when ever you travel you will be welcome to enjoy the facilities of the ‘WANTASS’s lounges.

  2. The first few minutes — BRILLIANT

  5. The Alt-news is saying Oct 4 or 11 [USA] is the big day, where the internet will be shut off and the 5G death pulse will turn people into zombies or corpses, well we won’t hear about it on the M$M that’s for sure, maybe there will be corpses piled up on the streets on bitchute if we can still access it. In connection with this the M$M yesterday reported the ANZ bank was having a software related shutdown, the ANZ board includes the infamous Jane Halton, chief commissioner of the Covid-19™ scamdemic, and notorious as the Agenda 21 liason, and sister in law of the crooked Dickhead Dan Corporate Health Officer and part time soapies star, whats-his-name
    ( transferred to CSIRO presumably for continued weapons development and testing ). However checking into aspects of this ANZ bank shutdown yesterday and today nothing unusual noted around here.
    We hear the NESARA is going to happen in the same time [Oct 4/11], where mortgages will be refunded and pensions will go up. Luckily they have lots of Mexicans because US citizens won’t want to work. We hear the Zimbabwe gold backed dollar is a safe enough bet that we should buy digital gold backed Zimbabwe dollars which are vested for a few months, ie not released, so you can pay but you can’t get your gold until later, all you got is a digital dollar, then they delay and delay then finally cancel. We must presume, new tricks from the old crowd.
    https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2023/5/9/zimbabwes-new-gold-backed-digital-currency-all-you-need-to-know

    • Being turned into zombies💁🤪
      So they want us to be pollies and journos as family?
      I wonder if the ‘test’ will actually be a real notice after watching the latest situation update with Mary at BIN?
      Seems also that the US house yesterday will not pass (or has knocked it) the required fiscal hand outs.
      Enjoy the long weekend with all the football bread and circus. Tuesday could be fun.

      • If they really decide not to pass the borrowing limit that will be news.
        We’re so used to the last-minute deal but if Biden can’t pay all his minions they will have to take his promissory notes. Let’s hope there is no deal so as to trigger something finally happening.

        • Bidens private IOUs called federal reserve private corporate monopoly notes are defunct.
          No supplier of imported
          goods to the District of Columbia accepts them as payment anymore.

  6. 2889.00 (about)
    What is that?
    The bloody gold price reported at abc bullion a minute ago.
    In the last fortnight it varied down from about 3,010. Reached 3030 a few weeks (month) back. Down over a hundred in last few days.
    So who knocked it down and why?
    So they could buy it!?
    I theorised if everyone was going gold and has tons, (Russia, China and banks it would then go down. Fixed!?
    Who is the genius with a answer?
    Some pundits foreshadowed a short time collapse and then💰🚀🚀🚀 > 2024???
    Sixpences and ‘thrippances’ might be good?
    Hang in there Terry.

    • AUD jumped up so that was part of it, maybe a few are getting out of USD and into AUD so they can roar in and buy souvenirs of Kalgoorlie. No evidence of cocaine in Melbourne as the football seemed to have been won fair & square for a change. Maybe they are all buying electric cars with their gold.

      • So who won💁 seriously, I have been busy..
        I will no doubt see a headline in the Sunday papers… the football score is the only matter that may be relied upon in the msm.

        • A very quick aborigine looking man tipped it in favour of the pies then they got another very quick one straight out of the centre square. Meanwhile rugby union is suicidal because they were beaten by some insignificant country or small island. I would like it if soccer went away too, give it to the ladies, they need a game of their own. Summer has arrived.

          • Hasten to add
            I didn’t watch the football, I only walked past the TV during the last few minutes. Normally I would go out for exercise to the public swimming pool during Grand Final when it is nice and empty of football fans, but this year has been too cold, previous years were more swimmable.

          • Do not be glum,, heard somewhere that there is another colosseum spectacle tomorrow.
            I heard that some panthers are coming from the colosseum bowls to devour some ? …. No idea, if offered a million for answer, I would look like Bob Carr’s cousin.
            Exp: Bob Carr ex NSW premier could not give a stuff about a circus. He mauled in nature with trees and read poetry to gums.

    • Kingaroy, home of “The Big Peanut” and Sir Joh, or are they the same thing ?
      “Other than grapes, peanuts and navy beans, other crops commonly grown in the Kingaroy area are sorghum, wheat, maize, sunflowers, citrus fruits and duboisia, a kind of plant often used for pharmaceutical products.”
      That’s all wikipedia has about “Devil’s Breath”

  15. The new Communo-Fascist Premier won’t be any better
    Victoria will be swallowed by debt as it was under John Cain when they still had a bank to sell, what are they going to sell now, maybe the Chinese will buy all the roads, trains, ports, universities, government buildings, etc, and Victorians can rent them back.

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